Imagine getting so excited at a wrestling show that you put your son in a torture rack

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I distinctly remember being a younger man and hearing the elders talk about the difference between the 70s or how “you just had to be there” in the 80s. I never thought about it. that I would never be that guy – how good those OLD MEN sounded when talking about the OLD days. It couldn’t be me, fam. Well, at 34, folks – I’m here to say it. The 90s were just different. We didn’t know how dangerous concussions were – people wailed over other people’s heads with steel chairs. For some reason, God knows why, someone lit the Shaker Heights Spike green. They cut dicks, gave birth to hands and all kinds of outright debauchery. We never beat an eye. In fact, as Wrasslin ‘fans in the’ 90s, we eat. We were animals. It was a visceral outlet for us, and sometimes we just got caught up in the moment and decided to hang our own children in the torture locker.

Look, I’m guilty of being a prisoner of the moment and totally overreacting to a situation. You should have seen me watching O brother, where are you? there are a few Friday evenings. Completely forgot the scene in the auditorium where the gang show up in their long beards and disguises. When Clooney hit that opening line from ‘Man of Constant Sorrow’ and people started dating as JR when Kane debuted – “BAH GAWD IT’S THE SOGGY BOTTOM BOYS” – I was getting a monkey in my living room . I have to be in the top 10 hottest crowds of all time. So I’m not going to judge anyone for doing something reckless and stupid in the heat of the moment. This is entertainment, people. But being like “BOOM – Torture Rack” is a bit too far.

I mean, maybe it wasn’t just a gimmick of the moment. As a journalist, I have to address all possible aspects of a story. Notice the shirts – a Hollywood, a Wolfpac. These two obviously appear to be affiliated with warring factions. So it’s possible the nWo Wolfpac put a hit on this kid. I don’t know – I’m just putting all the ideas on the table.

Anyway, I hope this kid is okay … over 20 years later … because a Torture Rack performed by an amateur, a dad who probably still thinks the wrestling is real, sounds like a dangerous thing and a sure fire way to cause lifelong spine problems.

Stoney Keeley is the editor of the SoBros Network, and a connoisseur of dogs playing velvet poker. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Titans of Tennessee, Nashville and a whole host of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley

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